Broken Stride
by Fullmetal Angyl
Summary: Dark, gritty deathfic. Tragedy, it affects us all. Some seek solitude, others are brought closer. This is a story about the affects of tragedy on the mind, body, and soul. How will it affect you? AU, no Sins. NOT FORGOTTEN!
1. Preface

I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any other already copyrighted material I may have missed. I'm not worth the effort.

And just a heads up, but I'm chronically editing and reediting old material. Another thing is that it often takes months to post a single chapter. I started this damned thing some time in late February of 2005 and didn't post the first chapter till 11/09/05. There are still only three chapters and the preface finished and the fic is over 190 pages long double-spaced between the paragraphs.

Right now I'm just praying no one mails me bombs for what I put certain characters through. Most people are somewhat understanding when it comes to Edward and Roy being, in plain English, dragged on their backs through the nine dimensions of Lucifer's playground.

The timeline's been FUBAR'd, might even be eligible as an AU.

This is my first real attempt at writing anything like a story. Hope it comes out right. If you have the time I would greatly appreciate it if you would badger me to your hearts content, criticism can only help.

* * *

**Broken Stride**

By … Fullmetal Angyl

I.e. K. L. Nelson

* * *

"Al Wait!"

But his younger brother was already at the entrance; he knew he heard a voice.

Alphonse stopped just short of the doorway that was now waist deep in flames. A burst of hot air caught him off guard and he fell back. It knocked the breath out of him, but he rolled onto his left side and scrambled back a few steps on his forearm, shielding his face from the immense heat with his right arm. He could feel the hairs burning off it.

In his thoughts, he was already cursing that which he had fought for so long to regain. _DAMN THIS FLESH!_ Alphonse had only regained his body the day before. They hadn't told anyone yet, as they had wanted it to be a surprise. The first thing he wanted, almost as badly as being able to embrace and feel his brother's living warmth once more, was to walk up to friends that didn't know what he truly looked like and let them figure it out for themselves, to see the looks on their faces when they realized just who it was they were talking to. For the first time in his life he wished he didn't have a body of flesh; that he was still nothing more than a soul trapped in an unfeeling suit of armor. He would give up anything to save a life, even at the cost of his own.

Jumping to his feet he stared into the blaze that was once a riverside house that looked out over rural farmland on the outskirts of Aquroya, the City of Water. The city was closer than Central, so they decided to take a look around and give Alphonse a little more time to adjust before seeing the others. The hall ran straight and deep into the heart of the building. The walls were insulating it and bits of burning ash floated about as the air rippled with heat like the inside of a hot stove. He felt like he was staring down the devil's throat into hell.

(HELP, I'M TRAPPED!) The voice came from somewhere towards the back beyond what he could see, the deepest part of the building.

Then he heard someone shouting in desperation. "GET AWAY FROM THERE, THE WHOLE PLACE IS COMING DOWN!" It was one of the firefighters yelling at him.

"WATCH OUT!" He whipped his head towards the scream to see a wide section of wall come crashing down from the second story within feet of another firefighter, but two others quickly pulled him to safety. Glancing about he found that he was the only one within fifty-feet of the flames; he was the only one that could save the stranger now.

Alphonse turned to see three men struggling to hold Edward back as he tried desperately to break free. "GET BACK, YOU'RE GOING TO DIE!"

He looked at his older brother and paused, knowing it might well be for the last time. Edward stopped struggling to stare at his little brother.

There he stood, with his back to the mouth of hell that threatened to swallow him whole. His form was dark against the white-hot flames in the doorway, but Edward could still see his face so clearly. He looked like the stuff of legends as his silhouette danced with the immense heat that was cast off the scattered bits of flaming debris that lay between them. Edward knew he was saying goodbye.

"_I'm sorry… my brother…_"

"NO AL!"

Then Alphonse turned back to the fire. "Hold On!" Drawing a deep breath and covering his face with his arms, he leapt over the flames and out of sight.

"AAALL!"

* * *

IMPORTANT – This is only the preface and takes place one month before the actual story.


	2. Dogs of War

I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any other already copyrighted material I may have missed.

And just a heads up, but I'm chronically editing and reediting old material.

YAAA, I GOT MY FIRST REVIEWWWS!

"Meli teh Dark One" and "gingersilvertonge," THANK YOU!

* * *

The first five words of the summary are meant to scare off people who spook easy. If the rubber-guts Kurt Russell horror movie, "The Thing", makes your skin crawl than this might not be the fic for you. You won't be considered weak if you don't read this. Rated M with good reason. Culturing maggots on rat corpses as a crude method of cleaning the rotted flesh out of infected wounds is a decent example. Try to grasp how it feels to undergo surgery strapped to a table without the comfort of sedatives or painkillers, the sensation of having someone playing with your organs. Or how about what runs through your head watching lunch pour out of a hole in your stomach while screaming as digestive acids eat at the exposed nerves. I read this paragraph to a friend over the phone and she complained that she just ate dinner. Sorry Annie. 

Some of the above-mentioned scenarios actually happen in even greater detail later on.

This fic contains intense segments of graphic imagery, small child molestation and rape, nauseating gore, torture, mutilation, language, screaming, tears, extremes of emotion in the raw, and puppy kicking. There's also a lot of teary fluff and the occasional poor attempt at humor; _mainly bitch jokes and cute stuff_. Some of it is pretty dark. Many good people die to the suffering of others and I can assure you that I will earn every word of my profile.

THIS IS NOT A YAOI! In the words of the great and powerful Yoda, _that I do not own the copy write for_, "You must unlearrrn what you have learned." And that goes for all the sick-minded readers, you know who you are!

There is a strongly romantic cannon-couple in later chapters, but absolutely nothing of a romantic nature between the men or between the women in this fic, ardent yes, but not in a romantic sense; all relationships are strictly hetero. There is a love that forms between some of them, but it is a love of family and deep abiding respect and of devotion toward the well being of friends be they male or female. Some come to understand and even cherish this closeness. I'm not homophobic, far from it. Many of my friends are gay, lesbian, or bi-sexual. Just felt like keeping it clean.

Hate, fear, shame, grief… our control, or lack there of, over these help to define us, determining who we are and become, but so do love, trust, and happiness.

Everyone seems to have forgotten that things were very different back then. I've tried to make things accurate to the times. The only real exceptions are curse words, certain fields of medicine, psychology, and color photography and any other bits of misplaced technology found throughout the show. It was a time when gay meant happiness, people said "with family" instead of pregnant, and toothpaste was uncommon and expensive, so they brushed with "toothpowder."

* * *

IMPORTANT 

LEGEND:

I get really creative with the English language, so hopefully this will help to break it down. Some of this is the slap-in-the-face obvious, but I'll list it anyway for good measure. I'm not calling anyone stupid, just keeping it professional so bare with me, there's some pretty important stuff in hear.

"Quotes," – talking aloud, weather it is to him/herself or one or more other persons.

_Italics_ alone – one's thoughts.

Italics without quotes in the _middle_ of a sentence – emphasis

Can shift mid-sentence "from talking" _to thinking_ "to talking again."

The same applies to underlining and "underlining with quotes", sometimes using a mishmash of all four.

Underlining – speaking with gestures, eyes, body language, and the like, such as shaking a fist to show anger or rolling your eyes in frustration. Some of it is self-explanatory, but later on there's a character that mostly talks this way and giving it words paints a better picture of what's being said.

"Underlining with quotes," – the same as just underlining, except the quotes indicate mouthing silent words. Sometimes when someone tries to speak it comes out far too quiet to pick up.

All of the above can be combined with the following levels of volume.

Level 1: "_Italics with quotes,_" – talking in a hushed or low, harsh voice, such as whispering, or reprimanding someone in a low key to emphasize anger.

Level 2: Normally structured sentences – normal voice

Level 3: All First Letters Capitalized – yelling and hollering, like calling for someone, but not screaming

Level 4: ALL LETTERS CAPITALIZED – screaming

("Any of the 4 levels of volume,") – a sentence enclosed in () indicates a distant or muffled voice, like listening through a closed door or yelling from a distance.

Looks easy enough to me, but then again I'm the writer so I could be wrong, just felt like saying that to cover my ass.

I know that was an awful lot of rambling, but most of it is meant to either warn or inform you. Some of this will be posted at the start of every chapter. There are a lot of you that skip strait to the story, I know because I'm one of them, and this is the best way to make sure that I got most of you before it's too late. There'll be a line after it for those that already read it.

* * *

REREAD THE PREFACE AND THE BEGINNING OF THIS CHAPTER, I MADE SMALL BUT IMPORTANT CHANGES!

* * *

**Broken Stride**

By … Lady of the Northern Mountains

I.e. K. L. Nelson

* * *

Ch.1 Dogs of War 

He was only just shy five feet tall, and yet he had been carrying nearly two hundred pounds of dead weight across his shoulders for a good four miles. Open lacerations ran down the back and front of his left shoulder and upper arm, a bite from an earlier battle.

The cold, damp air was heavy and the ice-skimmed puddles proved it was below freezing. His clothes had quickly become laden with cold sweat so he long since cast off everything above the belt save for his gloves and cuff; he was actually warmer bare-chest.

One thing he was grateful for was the electrical lighting. Thankfully the cave-in hadn't cut the wires, or he would have never made it this far without tripping on the mine's rail ties. They also gave him a path to follow he hoped would lead him to the surface.

Anything still dry was either butchered for bandages or used to keep Roy warm, he wasn't the one soaked through. He knew he could have transmuted them dry, but their coats were more than enough and he didn't want to carry any more than they needed. Even so Roy was stripped to his belt as well. Being shirtless had its advantages; it kept them both warmer, and it let Edward feel Roy's breathing and heartbeat. Their coats were merely thrown over the man like a blanket. Edward had no use for them; they would have been sodden in no time. It was warmer that way and it helped keep them dry, the farther from Edward the better.

Despite his wounds, Roy's legs hung over his left shoulder so more of the weight was transferred to the prosthetic leg. The pain was almost more than he could stand, but he needed to save the real one for the long trek ahead. The man was so much larger than Edward that his arms and legs fell straight down and his feet were close to dragging, the young alchemist could feel them brush the rail ties from time to time. His right shoulder was wrapped to cushion the metal and keep him from banging his head. An added bonus was that Roy wouldn't have to suffer from having his groin crushed down on an automail shoulder for hours on end, a thought that made Edward cringe noticeably every time it came to mind. He had to keep moving or they would freeze to death, and he was cold and off balance as it was. If he couldn't get Roy out of there, neither of them would make it out alive; weak and hurt as he was, Roy was now the only thing that kept him going.

Roughly two hours after he first set out Edward's legs finally gave way and he fell forward. He was pinned. For a moment all he could see were bursts of color, even when he closed his eyes; the fracture in his upper arm had spread just enough to catch a nerve. The weight across his back was constricting his chest, making breathing nearly impossible. There was no way he could use alchemy, his arms were still locked around Roy's arm and thigh and his hands were well above the ground. Feebly scraping his boots across the stone floor he tried desperately to drag his feet up so he could roll Roy off his back, but he was too weak. If he couldn't get out from under him he would either suffocate or die of exposure; which ever came first. It was hard enough just trying to lift his head much less get back on his feet, with or without Roy.

Not caring whether or not he lived, something he hadn't done in weeks, Edward began praying to a God neither of them believed in for the strength to save him. Equivalent Exchange would never let him live it down if the man died. He knew it was selfish, dying trying to save someone who just sacrificed his life to save him, but his pride wouldn't allow it. In his mind, Roy saved his life and he wanted to return the favor… _Even if it takes my last breath_.

* * *

Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, and Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, were walking side by side about twenty-feet ahead their unit so they could talk. Both were ranking State Alchemists, a publicly hated position in the military that often earned them the title "dog of the military"; or "State Dogs", officers that metaphorically wore a leash around their necks. 

Passing through the small mining town of Saultoff on his way back to Central after delivering a message, his first mission in nearly a month, Edward heard some suspicious rumors. The town was within a few miles of Central's northern border so he decided to get off at that train stop and take a walk. Being so close to Central they didn't even have a main hospital. There had been a number of chimera sightings in the tunnels since a small cave-in and he felt that they might have escaped from a secret laboratory performing illegal experimentations. Over a dozen coal miners claimed to have caught glimpses of massive, strangely shaped animals and a sudden drop in the rat population immediately following the cave-in.

"_Fullmetal, are you sure about this?_" They had to keep their voices to a minimum, the abandoned mine amplified the slightest pin drop.

"_Not in the least, but it's worth a shot._" Turning his attention to his commanding officer he saw that some convincing was in order. "_My information is second hand, so there's no way I can be positive._" Edward took note of a side tunnel without tracks as they walked on without pause.

"_So you ordered a ten man unit on a whim?_"

"_Yes._"

There was a long silence.

"_Fullmetal, if this is wrong I'm taking you down with me._" His voice held a tinge of anger.

"_If this is wrong I'll cuff myself._"

Having picked up on the word, Roy couldn't help catching a glimpse of the leather cuff on Edward's left wrist. A mild depression settled heavily on his heart, it brought back memories he'd have rather left unstirred. Edward hadn't notice, and Roy preferred it that way. _No sense reminding him._

Entering a clearing they glanced about, but didn't stop; strangely enough there was electric lighting at the mouth of another tunnel opposite them. Edward grew hopeful.

"_Colonel, tell me this, why would there be running equipment in a supposedly abandoned coal mine?_"

Roy's matter-of-fact words seemed almost meant to insult his subordinate's intelligence without his realizing it. Since the incident he had been trying to avoid putting any emotional stress on the young man.

"_This doesn't prove a thing. It was abandoned because they found a richer source two miles farther north of town than this one and couldn't afford to keep it running. Both mines are angled towards each other at roughly the same depth, so there is bound to be a conjunction somewhere along the tracks. They are probably using it as a quicker way back._"

Hearing something behind them they spun as two chimeras emerged from the side tunnel, splitting them from the group.

They were massive white dogs with long fur, long muscular tails, black markings, and rams horns. Though they were both four-feet at the shoulder one was slightly larger and had a black muzzle, back, and sides. The other had slightly longer fur, a smaller frame, and a black chest and head with a white muzzle and a blaze up the middle of its face.

They looked like mates, but chimeras where sterile, and neither male nor female at that. Alchemists had yet to produce chimeras of either sex. They looked intelligent and completely stable, acting more like something born than created, something with only one set of memories. If it weren't for the voracity that lied in those amber eyes they would have been something truly beautiful to behold.

Everything happened almost too fast to register between first sight and the attack. The smaller of the two chimeras went for Edward and Roy while the other turned its ravenous eyes on the group. Their unit was still in the tunnel.

There wasn't enough time to use alchemy. The chimera pounced on Edward before he could transmute a blade and pressed its crushing weight into his ribs and waist, pinning him on his right side. Sparks flew as his automail shoulder was ground through his jackets and into the stone floor. He could hear gunfire and screams as the other one tore through the unit. Clamping its jaws over his entire left shoulder and upper arm it pulled back, trying to rip a chunk of meat off its helpless prey; Edward screamed.

Roy snapped his fingers only to find that his gloves were damp from all the humidity, so he tore up an old wooden rail tie instead and shattered it over the creature's skull between its horns without hitting Edward. It yelped and scrambled back sideways, half dragging Edward as he kicked and struggled desperately to free himself from its jaws. Every time he hit or clawed at the creature's face it bit down and wrenched his shoulder till he stopped. He could feel its teeth gripping bone. It also seemed to do it whenever he tried to press his hands together, like it knew what he was capable of. What's more it had attacked the smaller, and normally weaker, of the two prey items, leaving itself open to attack from what it should have perceived to be a greater threat.

Somewhere in the back of his mind Edward was sorting it all out and came to the conclusion that either it was all coincidence or it knew that wet gloves prevented Roy from using his alchemy, making 'him' the greater threat. The only way it would have known about his gloves was if it recognized the type of transmutation circle and knew that all the humidity would have dampened them. It must have picked up on the watch chains to know Edward was an alchemist as well. _Damn thing saw me transmute the path through that barricade earlier._

Slowly it turned to glare at Roy with Edward still in its jaws, dragging his heels and lightly gasping with exhaustion and the pain this caused him. Its eyes were cast in an eerie glow with the distant lights. Baring its teeth around a mouthful of shoulder it crouched low to the ground with raised hackles, rattling its throat like a starving predator defending its kill. Roy was slowly backing off, trying not to provoke it further, when Edward suddenly cried out in pain and quit struggling as the chimera sunk its teeth even deeper. He could feel his arm fracturing down its length. It was trying to dispatch its prey. Infuriated, Roy grabbed a heavy, jagged rock and threw it at the beast's head.

"LET HIM GO!" It hit and cut open the sore spot where he broke the board earlier. In pain and frustration, the creature whipped its head and threw the blonde crashing into him. They toppled head over heals and Edward let out a strangled cry as his wounded shoulder was mashed between Roy's back and some sharp rocks. Immediately rolling off him they scrambled to their feet.

He was expecting an incoherent teenager suffering from shock. Instead he beheld one wide-eyed, standing strong, Edward Elric, pissed, panting, and ready to kill something.

The beast charged and they bolted to the side, just narrowly evading its teeth. It smashed head first into the wall with such force that its feet left the ground, its horns doing nothing to cushion the blow. Wasting no time, Edward transmuted the back plate of his forearm into a blade while the Colonel armed himself with another board. Headstrong as usual, the teen rushed the chimera without a second thought.

"No Ed Stop!" Roy dropped the board and tried to catch up before it was too late, from that angle he could see exactly what was about to happen. Edward rushed over and aimed for its chest, but the creature turned last second. As it rounded to strike him with its tail, Roy floored him from behind, deliberately taking the blow in his place. It brushed Edward's hair as he went down and hit Roy below his arms outstretched, smashing him in the sternum.

Dazed, seeing stars, and wondering what the 'hell' just happened, Edward looked up and saw his friend crash back through a corroded pipe and half-slide half-tumble to a halt twenty feet away, a cloud of dust settling around him; he didn't move. "COLONEL!"

Catching a glimpse of motion Edward dove into a summersault up onto his left hand, spun a 180, and landed squatting on his feet and left hand with the blade up and away as he once more dodged the chimera. His wounded shoulder almost gave way under the pressure and he grit his teeth and cut loose another scream. Using the force and angle with which he landed Edward dug his hand and the toes of his boots into the ground to gain momentum, sprinting back at the beast before it could turn.

"THIS ONE'S FOR MUSTANG!" Shifting like it had earlier only gave Edward a larger target and he settled for between its lowest ribs, catching his wrist in its rib cage. It scrambled back sideways and toppled over onto its right side, gasping and dragging Edward with it. Blood sprayed everywhere as he pressed both his boots hard into its side and violently ripped back. He was expecting more resistance and stumbled, crashing to the floor on his left forearm and jarring his shoulder. This time he couldn't have screamed even if he wanted to as the sensation had momentarily stunned him and it took a second to adjust. Not bothering to make sure it was dead he transmuted his arm back in mid stride and scrambled for Roy cradling his arm, just pressing his hands to use alchemy stung. Despite it all Edward didn't blame the poor beast, it was obvious from the get go that they had attacked out of hunger. Someone drove it to this, that's who he blamed.

When Edward finally got to the man he tried to wake him, but it was no use; Roy was comatose and bleeding down the left side of his head. A bullet hit the wall a few feet off and he turned. The larger chimera, hearing its friend's cries, was headed straight for them. Edward knew that there wasn't enough time to counter it, so he did the only thing he could to protect Roy; he threw himself on the man to shield him from the attack. With the chimera only ten feet away part of the mine came crashing down, killing the larger one and trapping some of their unit as a large, flat-sided boulder crushed the smaller chimera's lower back legs.

Looking over his shoulder Edward saw the thick wall of unstable debris that now lay between them and anyone left alive. Weakly he staggered to his feet so he could assess the damage.

Digging was out of the question, that section of the mine was dangerously unstable. He didn't dare even attempt alchemy; there were men trapped somewhere under the debris. Transmuting a path would surely kill some if not all of them. The vibration might have caused a second cave-in anyway. Even the stone floor wanted to crumble as the boards creaked overhead. _Shit… the idiots tunneled over a cavern!_

Still cradling his arm, Edward turned to his commanding officer and sighed in defeat; he was forced to carry him. Just sitting Roy up was difficult enough with a busted arm, but it was nothing when compared to getting the man on his back.

Pulling the man across his shoulders he hooked his arms around the man's left arm and leg and staggered to his feet. It hurt terribly with Roy's legs hanging off the left shoulder, but not as much as he thought with his arm not taking the pressure. Hearing a low whimper he glanced back at the smaller chimera. It was still alive, but with its back legs shattered it was as good as dead. There was nothing he could do short of putting it out of its misery and Roy was already on his shoulders, so he moved on.

As soon as they reached what he felt was stable enough ground, Edward gently set him down and rolled him on his side to take a closer look at the left side of his head. His hair was matted down with blood. A bone deep gash cut above and before his left ear, the weakest part of the skull. All he could do was clean it as best he could with a shred of cloth and puddle water, stripping a sleeve for a wrap.

Next he examined his own wounds. There were four lacerations where the chimera's fangs dug into his shoulder and upper arm, but they weren't nearly as bad as he thought. When it shook him he could feel its teeth gripping bone and was expecting torn muscle and severed arteries. Thankfully his arm wasn't stiff or swelling up… yet. They stopped bleeding for the moment and needed stitches to keep them from reopening, but it could wait. Everything else consisted of bloody scrapes, cuts, and bruises that looked, and felt, far worse than they actually were. He transmuted the cold blood and sweat off them. Picking up a small stone he wrote a message on the wall, just in case.

MUSTANG'S HURT

MEN TRAPPED IN THE DEBRIS

TRYING TO FIND ANOTHER WAY OUT

FULLMETAL

Last minute his curiosity got the better of him, so he pulled Roy to the wall with his right arm and pushed him against it. Clapping his hands, he touched the floor and transmuted a barrier of stone over and around to seal him in, but left a number of small holes at the top for air and a large impression of the crest of the fuehrer on the front of it. If something should happen to him he wanted Roy to be safe, the crest was so they could find him. _There could be more of those things out there._ Feeling it was safe enough, he left Roy to take another look at the chimera; and put it out of its misery. His heart ached for it in sympathy and he still blamed whoever created and mistreated it for the attack.

The poor beast was bleeding to death and whimpering in pain. Laying on its side it stared up at him as he approached with its head up and back. It cowered in fear with its ears flat and eyes wide in trepidation. Its spirit was broken and it shook allover. Edward couldn't help but take pity on such a helpless wounded animal. He calmly approached it without fear, his arms and hands open to show he intended no harm, and he didn't make the common mistake of staring at it directly the way a predator would. It was too fearful of retribution to bite. Each step was carefully taken. Slowly he knelt in front of it and started stroking the side of its neck, trying to calm it down.

"…_Shhh… It's ok…_"

Its eyes softened as if it understood. The creature had been poorly treated in the past and this was probably the first time it had ever been shown human kindness. It was gentle by nature; something drove it to kill. Lifting its head it sniffed his bite wound and started licking the blonde's shoulder, trying to clean it with a tongue almost as broad as his chest as if to say it was sorry. It stung a little, but he let it knowing he couldn't do better and continued stroking its head and the sides of its face. C_himeras are 'never' this stable. What the hell are you?_

Pulling away he looked it over and realized just how thin it was. Under all that fur, it was just skin stretched over bones. It didn't get like that overnight; they had been starving themselves to death and came close to it when humans were the only things available. _Probable wiped out the rat population._ He didn't have the heart to slice its throat or stab it and decided it was more humane to let it loose consciousness and bleed to death in its sleep. It wouldn't be long in coming, but he still wanted to relieve some of its pain. Walking over to the boulder he lifted one end and cautiously let it drop back off the chimera's legs so it could shift its weight and move.

Something stirred to the right of them and the chimera whipped its head to it and rolled up onto its elbows. As it moved he saw that it wasn't sterile; it was a bitch. She whined in the direction of the sound, calling to something. Leaving her to investigate he realized a small part of the side tunnel they came from was still open. As he got closer he heard something moving and breathing behind a boulder in front of the entrance. Transmuting a blade he peered over the edge.

It jumped at him from the shadows. Startled, he fell back expecting it to attack him, but when it poked its head over the boulder he could only stare in shock. A white, lop-eared puppy was staring back at him and yipping playfully. It was marked with a black head, black-flecked white muzzle, a white blaze up the center of its face, and a large black saddle patch on its back. The black of its head bled a little down the sides of its neck and the backs of its white forearms were fringed with thicker fur that would grow longer with age.

She whined to the puppy again and it crawled over the boulder, its ears bouncing to its gate as it ran past Edward and up to the bitch. _Another female!_ She was an elegant little thing, prancing more like an adult. Certain traits never carried. She didn't have horns and her tail was like that of a long-coated dog's.

The bitch's eyes were half-closed and her head hung low to the ground, teetering from side to side as she tried to hold on a little longer for her child. The puppy cautiously approached her mother's massive form, now sensing her pain. Whimpering, she reared up licking the blood off her face as the bitch nuzzled her. Spreading her elbows to maintain balance she fought hard the sleep she knew would separate her from her baby; she was loosing the battle.

Edward shed a tear over the heartbreak before him. It reminded him too close for comfort of when his mother died holding his and his brother's hands. The bitch's head sunk lower and the puppy stopped licking and started whining. Her head was now on the floor and the pup jumped back and released a squeaking bark. It was the equivalent of a child screaming "Please Mom, Don't Leave Me!"

Her eyes seemed distant. Freezing on the spot, the puppy stared for a moment at her mother. Slowly she took a step closer, stretching her neck forward and giving a feint, pain filled whine, but the bitch gave no response.

Now, for the first time since she noticed her mother, she turned and looked up at him. She knew her mother had passed on.

She looked like a mutt, and a pretty one at that. As she stared up at him with those eyes, watery and emanating the same hurt and loss that he and his brother had suffered, Edward knew there was no way he could let them cart her off to some lab. She could easily pass for a stray. He was glad that he had transmuted her mother's blood off him and Roy. Her only sent on him now was from petting her and letting her lick the bite she gave him.

Those blue eyes reminded him of a little girl he once knew. He, along with his brother, had lived with her family for a few months; she was like a little sister to them. The name just seemed to fit. _God I miss her._ Lifting the pup in his arms, he stretched his coat around them and held her tightly in a comforting embrace, cradling her so she sat on an automail forearm with her legs around him and her front paws hooking over his shoulders and around his neck.

The puppy was huge, two-months-old at most and already nearly fifteen pounds. And her paws were enormous, filling the palms of his hands. Her age, weight, and paws told him that she would grow to be a very large dog, easily over a hundred pounds, but still never reach the size of her parents by a long shot.

Having found a shoulder to cry on she snuggled up tighter, clinging to him as she softly whimpered tremblingly into his shirt. Everyone knew dogs couldn't cry, but Edward could feel his shirt dampening with her tears. He had never seen something so human in an animal before, and he began to wonder how he was going to hide what she really was. Though he didn't realize it, he needed someone like her in his life, now more than ever. Someone to take care of, to comfort, and comfort him in return; easing a little of the pain in his chest.

"_You're coming with me,"_ he muttered in a soothing voice, and kissed her warm, soft fur. "_…Nina._"

With that, he returned to Roy. Hefting the man onto his shoulders he whistled for Nina and trudged on, hoping it wouldn't be too long. She followed him like he was her guardian.

* * *

I left some really big things open and open they'll remain. This fic is almost as much mystery as angst. 

I started writing this in late February and the rest of the fic is 76 pages as of 02/20/06 and going strong. This fic is so long that my style of writing will probably change many times before the end. I still have a very, very, long, way to go. Don't hate me for this. I'm chronically skipping back and forth and so far there is little that I'm certain of.


	3. In Dreams

I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any other already copyrighted material I may have missed.

The first five words of the summary are meant to scare off people who spook easy. If the rubber-guts Kurt Russell horror movie, "The Thing", makes your skin crawl than this might not be the fic for you. You won't be considered weak if you don't read this. Rated M with good reason.

This fic contains _intense_ segments of graphic imagery, small child molestation and rape, nauseating gore, torture, mutilation, language, screaming, tears, extremes of emotion in the raw, and puppy kicking. There's also a lot of teary fluff and the occasional poor attempt at humor; _mainly bitch jokes and cute stuff_. Some of it is pretty dark. Many good people die to the suffering of others and I can assure you that I will earn every word of my profile.

THIS IS NOT A YAOI! In the words of the great and powerful Yoda, _that I do not own the copy write for_, "You must unlearrrn what you have learned." And that goes for all the sick-minded readers; you know who you are!

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LEGEND: 

I get really creative with the English language, so hopefully this will help to break it down. Some of this is the slap-in-the-face obvious, but I'll list it anyway for good measure. I'm not calling anyone stupid, just keeping it professional so bare with me, there's some pretty important stuff in hear.

"Quotes," – talking aloud, weather it is to him/herself or one or more other persons.

_Italics_ alone – one's thoughts.

Italics without quotes in the _middle_ of a sentence – emphasis

Can shift mid-sentence "from talking" _to thinking_ "to talking again."

The same applies to underlining and "underlining with quotes", sometimes using a mishmash of all four.

Underlining – speaking with gestures, eyes, body language, and the like, such as shaking a fist to show anger or rolling your eyes in frustration. Some of it is self-explanatory, but later on there's a character that mostly talks this way and giving it words paints a better picture of what's being said.

"Underlining with quotes," – the same as just underlining, except the quotes indicate mouthing silent words. Sometimes when someone tries to speak it comes out far too quiet to pick up.

All of the above can be combined with the following levels of volume.

Level 1: "_Italics with quotes,_" – talking in a hushed or low, harsh voice, such as whispering, or reprimanding someone in a low key to emphasize anger.

Level 2: Normally structured sentences – normal voice

Level 3: All First Letters Capitalized – yelling and hollering, like calling for someone, but not screaming

Level 4: ALL LETTERS CAPITALIZED – screaming

("Any of the 4 levels of volume,") – a sentence enclosed in () indicates a distant or muffled voice, like listening through a closed door or yelling from a distance.

Looks easy enough to me, but then again I'm the writer so I could be wrong, just felt like saying that to cover my ass.

I know that was an awful lot of rambling, but most of it is meant to either warn or inform you. Some of this will be posted at the start of every chapter. There are a lot of you that skip strait to the story, I know because I'm one of them, and this is the best way to make sure that I got most of you before it's too late. There'll be a line after it for those that already read it.

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**Broken Stride**

By … Lady of the Northern Mountains

I.e. K. L. Nelson

* * *

Ch.2 In Dreams

Everything was growing darker by the minute.

His whole body hurt.

…_what… happened?_

The question gnawed at him.

…_I… I can't… move… why can't I move?_

The cold, damp air was thick and heavy and his head started to ache as a new question perplexed him.

…_where am I…?_

Somewhere in the churning blackness a faint light stirred and he opened his eyes; there was someone standing about ten feet away. Lifting his eyes as far as he could he dimly saw a woman clad in light, earthy tan robes, her face just beyond his sight. He thought he was hallucinating when he saw her wings. They were of deep, rich browns, like the colors of a Golden Eagle. Despite the electric lighting she seemed to have a faint glow of her own. After a long moment the, angel slowly walked up to him in a smooth, almost airy gait, her bare feet soundlessly falling upon the pebble littered stone floor.

She knelt in front of him. All he could do was stare in a semiconscious haze as she leaned closer and held his face in her hands. Closing his eyes he let her hold him and felt the warmth of her hands as she began stroking the side of his face.

Gently resting him back on the ground, she letting go of him and slowly rose up and stepped around him and out of view.

She started pulling his hands out from under something heavy. He felt something shift, but it wasn't him. Feeling a great weight he didn't know was there rising off his shoulders his lungs drank deep the air he didn't know he had been starving for. He could breathe again and felt every muscle in his body relax, but he still couldn't lift his head to see her face. There was something about her, something familiar.

Turning back to Edward, she lifted his limp body in her arms and pulled him up so he was sitting in her lap, resting his back against her chest. He started to feel some of his strength returning. Leaning back against the wall, she held him in her arms. Tears began streaming down his face as he felt the warm embrace of soft feathers folding over him like a blanket as she lovingly wrapped him in her wings. He now knew who she was. Looking up, he stared into the loving eyes of his mother.

Rolling sideways, he curled up in her arms and softly cried in her robes as she held him closer.

" _Shhh, you're safe._"

"_Why, Mom… why did you leave us?_"

There was a moment of silence.

"_I never left you… and I never will._"

Slowly opening his eyes he found himself once more lying face down on the cold stone floor.

Everything came rushing back and Edward jolted to his feet, but he had been lying on his chest for too long and his head and stomach to handle it. A wave of nausea hit him full force and he hunched over and dropped to his knees and right hand with the other clasped over his mouth, but he managed to keep it down.

He straightened up slower knowing he wouldn't be so lucky the next time around and sat between his feet with an automail hand still pressed to his stomach. _Damn it, where's Roy?_

It took him a second to fully comprehend the question. Looking about from where he sat his eyes rested on the still form of a man lying on his side next to him within arms reach.

Yanking off his left glove with his teeth, he grabbed Roy's wrist and felt for a pulse, nothing. Somehow maintaining his cool Edward quickly rolled him on his back and slipped his hand under Roy's neck, his lips were little blue. Lifting it so his head still touched the ground he rolled up a jacket and stuffed it under his neck to keep it there, opening the windpipe clear to the lungs just like his mother had once taught him and Alphonse.

Next he reached his fingers down the man's throat to make sure it was clear of obstructions, it was. Closing Roy's nose with one hand and holding his jaw open with the other he pressed his mouth over the man's without a moment's hesitation, trying to breath life back into him. Edward wasn't exactly thrilled at the prospect, but he immediately cast such thoughts aside; a man's life hung in the balance. He lifted his face up and away between breaths to draw fresh air for Roy. Every time he did, he lowered his ear and quickly listened for a response.

After repeating seven times he switched to compressions. Placing his right hand over the left, Edward laced his upper fingers down between the lowers with the lower hand still spread open and braced his arms. Twice a second he pulsed all his weight straight down on the sternum just where his rib cage split in a not so mild panic, forcing the lungs to contract and expand. Edward was thankful that his arm was numb; it hurt enough as it was. He flinched as he felt a rib crack, but it didn't stop or even slow him. _Better to have a broken rib and live!_ After fifteen times he switched back to breathing and started silently crying, his tears falling on the lifeless face of a dying friend.

Switching back again to compressions his hope started to wane, but he kept at it knowing it could take over fifteen minutes. His tears fell heavier as he forced himself to stay calm.

"…_come ooon…"_ He wanted to breathe for him again, but he was crying too hard. Roy was the closest thing he ever had to a father, and the reason he wore a cuff had only enforced that image. The incident had both humbled and traumatized the man on a level that bordered clinical shock.

Ten minutes passed and still nothing. His tears had stopped and he could breathe for him again. Even so, he knew that he was still so high strung that if Roy started breathing he'd quickly turn into an emotional train wreck, sobbing till he could hardly breathe. Almost on Q Roy jolted awake and instinctively flipped over, gasping and choking on the fluid that had settled in his lungs. Edward damn near jumped out of his skin.

Wasting no time he wrapped his arms around the man's diaphragm and lifted him slightly so his head was lower than his chest, his right arm did most of the lifting. Roy spent a good minute hacking his lungs dry. It sounded more like a deep barking that reminded Edward of a sick dog. Being scarcely conscious he was no doubt oblivious to everything. Edward was a little chilled but Roy was out right hypothermic. His hands were stiff too. He hoped they were just tense and not frostbitten. _Lord knows its cold enough for that._

Soon as his breathing calmed Edward rested him on his side and transmuted their now damp jackets into a thick, dry, heated, blanket. There was enough material to make one large enough for the both of them. Throwing it over Roy, he dragged him and the blanket to the wall as best he could with just one arm. Edward sat his back to it and pulled the man up so he was lying sideways into him and folded in Roy's arms. Unbraiding his hair, he pulled it over his left shoulder to act as a cushion between the man's head and his shoulder wounds.

Tucking the man's face into his neck, he pulled the blanket up over their shoulders. Edward kept his right arm and shoulder out from under the blanket and did the same with his left leg from the mount down. The cold metal would have only made things worse. Cradling the man to his chest he hugged him tight and close with his thighs, making as much contact as possible to warm him.

Roy was a lot colder and drew up his legs a little, leaning heavier into him as a subconscious reaction to this newfound warmth. Edward's eyes immediately widened and he gasped, groaning from the pain this brought him. His chest still felt crushed from Roy's full weight pressing it to the cold stone floor and the way he had wrapped him with his thighs both chilled and pinched him in ways he didn't quite appreciate. _Damn It… The Man's An Ice Pack! If He Doesn't Warm Up Soon We'll Both Freeze._ His face flushed crimson at the though of what it must look like. Then he started softly crying again as a new one came to mind. _But at least he's alive._ It only just hit him that he had almost lost Roy and it made him hug him all the tighter as he started to sob a little. He resisted the urge to rest his face in Roy's hair to avoid the head wound.

Hearing a yip Edward turned to see Nina appear from around the bend. The puppy scampered straight for him at breakneck, tripping on her feet with her ears flapping wildly the whole way in total panic. It was comical and he couldn't help but smile at her. Somewhere along the way she had stopped to rest. Frightened and lost, Nina had been scrambling to catch up ever since. He didn't even realize she was gone. Shoving her nose under the blanket she wormed her way up and between Roy's arms, nestling into his still colder chest. Edward let out a soft chuckle at the irony of it.

"_Trust me girl, it ain't much warmer in here." _She curled and yawned before plopping her head down and fell asleep almost immediately, having finally found a safe place to rest. Edward was glad she chose that spot against Roy's chest, it meant another source of warmth.

Now coming off the adrenaline high, Edward could feel every ache coming back to haunt him. It felt like his whole body was screaming at him for what he put it through. Overwhelming exhaustion added to the surge of pain, knocking him cold. Long after loosing consciousness he still clung tightly to his wounded friend.

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No matter how long it takes me to update I'm not giving up on this fic and I have already started another one. 

This is the kind of non-yaoi closeness I've been telling you about.


	4. Enemies? Part 1

"I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any other already copyrighted material I may have missed." Leans in close and whispers, _(doesn't mean I can't dream)..._

The some of the summary is meant to scare off people who spook easy. You won't be considered weak if you don't read this. Think of people going insane and chewing off the faces of shrieking victims. Rated M with good reason.

**THIS IS NOT A YAOI!** In the words of the great and powerful Yoda, _that I do not own the copy write for_, "You must unlearrrn what you have learned." And that goes for all the sick-minded readers; you know who you are!

**IMPORTANT**: ONE thing I didn't say in the A/N's of the last chapter that I feel needs to be said is that RAPE is another story. It's not yaoi. Lets face it; if a man is willing to rape just to get laid is he going to care about the gender of his victim. And more often than not it's a power thing that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with being gay. Just think of all the don't-drop-soap jokes out there.

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**HEY, THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU WHO WANT TO KNOW WHAT NINA LOOKS LIKE! **

I based her on the Landseer. They look like black and white Newfoundlands and I added a _very _tiny amount of Border Collie mixed in for added grace and agility. Google Image Search Landseer and you won't be disappointed. Hundreds of pictures and there are a few of someone holding a two-month-old puppy. Although Nina is almost 'one fifth Bigger' as a puppy, they give you a good idea as to the size of the little monster. Landseers are most often utilized alongside Newfoundlands as water rescue dogs and are comparable in size and strength to a small packhorse! Trust me, it's the right breed to base Nina on right down to her personality.

* * *

**Broken Stride**

By … Fullmetal Angyl

I.e. K. L. Nelson

* * *

Ch.4 Enemies?

As he drifted at the edges of sleep Edward felt something move and remembered everything as he came to. Slowly opening his eyes revealed that Roy was fully conscious and looking about, but the way he couldn't seem to keep his head and eyes from shifting worried him and he hoped that there wasn't any permanent damage. He looked confused and in pain and was shivering with a chill.

Then Roy looked at Edward. It had only just occurred to him that he was under a blanket and lying in his subordinate's arms and between his legs bare chest like they were star-crossed lovers. Knowing this meant that Edward had to go through something degrading to keep him alive he looked appalled and grateful all at once. The white of Roy's left eye was blotched bloody from broken blood vessels, something he half expected to begin with.

"Fullmetal…?"

Edward kept his voice low figuring the mine would amplify it, and Roy probably had a bitch of a headache.

"Hey, it wasn't joy ride for me 'either' pal."

Roy glared at him for that one, or at least tried to. The attempt was comical, but Edward just sighed and decided to hold off on the onslaught of bitch jokes and blackmail he'd throw his commanding officer's way till later. He wanted to know the extent of the damage, and it wouldn't have been much fun picking on someone that couldn't put up so much as a loosing battle anyway. At the moment such a thing would have been just a cruel attempt at a cheap laugh.

"Do you remember the attack?"

Roy just stared off into nothing, like he hadn't heard a thing.

"Roy?"

Jumping a little he snapped back to reality. "Uh, yea… i-i-it'ss, faded… like a" He swallowed. "like a dream, or… some, thing……", he trailed off.

Feeling something move they looked down and Edward pulled the blanket down a bit to see Nina curled up tighter than a kitten and snuggling a little deeper into them. Edward smiled, but the other man wasn't so amused at the sight of the fifteen-pound fluff ball. Then, having taken in her markings and immense size, his eyes shot wide and he leaned back just a little. Edward wasn't too pleased with his reaction.

"Is that what I think it is?"

"Yea. Turns out they weren't sterile. They must have freed her when they escaped, at around two-months there's no way she was born after the cave-in. She's about as dangerous as a pet puppy and if you shy away like she's some kind of a threat I'm going to laugh my ass off at your expense."

After nearly a quarter minute Roy closed his eyes, gave a pained grin and nodded quite dumbly in agreement, like Edward had only just finished talking. He hadn't even registered the threat. It was yet another thing to add to a growing list of disturbingly out-of-character reactions.

The younger alchemist knew he needed to get Roy to a hospital fast, but the man was still hypothermic and probably unable to support his own weight. He was having enough trouble just keeping his head still and the blonde wasn't going to let him even try walking. Edward was stiff and hurting from head to toe and probably couldn't support Roy much less carry him like he had earlier. He probably couldn't walk very well himself either. More than anything they needed sleep.

"Roy," he asked, making sure he had the man's attention before going on slowly so hopefully he could keep up, "neither of us are going anywhere in this condition. You probably can't walk and I'm no better off, so we're stuck here."

Roy's eyes were trained ahead. Edward decided to not rush answers and started counting seconds to see if there were any changes in Roy's reaction time, hoping that he was getting better. At least his eyes 'seemed' a little more stable.

"Those tracks look well used."

Five seconds. Turning his attention to the tracks he saw that he was right. It was actually pretty quick thinking. They hadn't been left long enough for the contact surface to form rust in the humid air or even collect dust for that matter. They were old and worn, but shiny, which reminded Edward that he had been following live electrical lighting. He caught on almost immediately.

"You're right. I'm not counting on it, but there's a good chance we'll be found sometime within the next ten hours."

Immediately Roy threw him an incredulous look. "What if there isn't a connection between this tunnel and the one farther north? The lights didn't reach to the entrance, why wouldn't they have started from the main entrance?"

Edward's eyes were wide with understanding. _Why didn't I see this!_

"Have you been just following the lights?"

"Yes, I had no choice, a cave-in blocked the way we came and some of our men were trapped in the pile. Now that I think about it, they probably stopped using this mine for safety and claimed in was too expensive to run to avoid legal action. Those idiots tunneled over a cavern and the cave-in almost took us down with it. I couldn't transmute a path without knowing where the men were under the debris. It would have killed any survivors." Another thought came to mind, hitting them at the same moment, and they both looked down at Nina.

"Oh shit."

Roy nodded his agreement. "Edward, whoever are using these lights, they aren't our friends."

Heaving out a frustrated sigh Edward let his head bang against the stone wall and closed his eyes. They were lost and wounded in enemy territory and for all they knew there were more chimeras on the hunt, but they were alive and Roy almost sounded back to normal... almost. "Well... like I said, we're stuck here."

He was trying to find a pattern in the time it took Roy to register and react, hoping that it would keep getting better and not suddenly take a turn for the worse. With head injuries, anything's possible. After nearly a whole minute of quiet, save for their breathing, Roy came out with something that set off sirens in Edward's mind and his thoughts immediately threw him into a mild panic.

"When did you say that?" It had taken him that long to register before asking.

This was Not good.

"I told you that less than five minutes ago..."

When Edward had first spoken to him Roy had immediately registered his words, body language, and the emotion of his voice like a normal person would have. The reaction was almost instantaneous. But then he never registered the threat about laughing at him. Now he was missing entire statements. _Is it fluctuating or just getting worse?_ He glanced about for almost another full minute, his eyes focusing and unfocusing and drifting about the whole time.

"Where are we? I remember being in a mine, but how did we get to where we are now?"

"Uh, I carried you across my back for a couple of hours. Do you remember the attacked?"

An instantaneous response. "Some of it."

He looked at Edward sideways for a long moment, like he was thinking about something and it was taking a long time to sort his thoughts before saying anything.

"Why didn't we go back the way we came... and where are the others?"

"Most likely dead, a cave in." Edward was somewhat calmed by the sadness in his friend's eyes. "I couldn't use alchemy with some of them trapped in the debris," he stated and Roy nodded in agreement. "It blocked the way and the ground was unstable. Those idiots were mining over a cavern. You broke a pipe with your head and I wasn't going to just sit around whistling with the floor crumbling under us and blood pouring from your skull, which is probably cracked. For all I know your brain is hemorrhaging. There's no way I was gonna wait for a rescue team."

Pushing the sadness aside and still watching him out of the corner of his right eye Roy gave a faint grin. "You were worried over me..."

Edward scoffed loudly. "Yeah, well... don't think anything of it, I would have done the same for a stranger."

But his friend's smile only grew. "Then tell me why I can taste blood when you're the one with a cut lip?" Roy seemed to be all too amused at the sight of the pale, sickly expression that crossed Edward's face. "I won't tell if you don't."

Edward could only nod in whole hearted agreement. Then once again Roy managed to floor him.

"You don't look so good. I don't think I can walk and I'm not going to let you try carrying me again."

For the first time since Roy first glared at him he turned and looked Edward in the eyes dead on. _shit, shit, Shit..._ At least with the right one... The boy's mind jumped and his heart pounded in his stomach so hard that wanted to throw up.

The left one was white, it had rolled up and to the left so far that he could barely see a sliver of the iris. The sight of it left him shaking. A worried expression suddenly crossed Roy's face and he turned a bit pale. Lifting his hand from under Nina and the blanket he held it up before his eyes, seemingly examining it. He moved it sideways to the right, then the left. Centering it again he closed the left eye, then opened it and closed the right one. He jumped. After a moment he rested his hand back on the blanked covered bundle of fuzz.

"I'm half blind..."

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The rest of the fic is 157 pages as of 10/19/07. I know that that's a much smaller number than mentioned in previous chapters, but I changed the spacing and took out segments I just hadn't gotten around to throwing in the scrap file.

That's something I recommend every writer have. A scrap file where you compile old, thrown out segments and ideas just so you still have them on record. I have one for each of my stories. It's also great if you want to make big changes to a segment but keep a copy of the original.

No matter how long it takes I **will** finish this fic. 


	5. Enemies? Part 2

"I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist or any other already copyrighted material I may have missed." Leans in close and whispers, _(doesn't mean I can't dream)... _

Some of the summary is meant to scare off people who spook easy. You won't be considered weak if you don't read this. Think of people going insane and chewing off the faces of shrieking victims. _FYI this actually happens. _Rated M with good reason. Won't get bad till around halfway through the fic and this is a long fic. Then the gore and guts and puss and maggots and torture (sometimes all at once) gets a bit excessive.

**THIS IS NOT A YAOI! **In the words of the great and powerful Yoda, _that I do not own the copy write for_, "You must unlearrrn what you have learned." And that goes for all the sick-minded readers; you know who you are!

**GO TO MY PROFILE FOR MORE INFORMATION.**

* * *

**Broken Stride**

By … Fullmetal Angyl

I.e. K L. Nelson

Ch.4 Enemies?

**Part 2**

* * *

The silence stretched on for what seemed like hours, but it was probably closer to a few minutes.

"Colonel?"

He turned back to Edward and gave the boy his full attention. "I'm no doctor, but I don't think the eye itself is damaged. It's just out of alignment. The tissues that connect it to the muscles that move it were probably damaged. It could be fixable or even heal on its own."

Roy seemed to calm a bit and sighed, then looked back down at the puppy on his lap. "Well, what are we going to do about that?" He seemed to be reacting to things a bit closer to normal.

"I don't know, but I don't think she's a threat."

"Oh no. Don't you even think about it." He took a breath and held it for a second to calm his nerves.

"I named her Nina..."

The infuriated look that crossed his superior's face was as sudden as it was frightening and Edward leaned back and tried to sink his head into his shoulders.

"How dare you... I'm half blind and you just informed me that I broke a pipe with my head. I'm suffering brain damage And You Are Trying To Take Advantage Of That By Telling Me That You Named It After A Dead Girl! It's The Product Of Illegal Experiments And For All We Know Was Made To Be An Offensive Weapon! How Dare You Pull This Shit On Me!"

He didn't ever want to yell like that again, not at Edward. The kid was suffering enough without Roy piling on the stress, but at the moment he couldn't help it... and he found that more that a bit alarming. For no apparent reason he just felt pissed...

"I'm Not Asking For Anything, I'm Telling You This So You Don't Ship Her Off To A Lab The Moment We Get Out Of Here! I Don't Want You Making Any Decisions When You're In This Condition!" He looked genuinely scared and the elder alchemist was cursing off the whole situation to hell and back. He still couldn't tell why he felt so mad. Edward's eyes reminded him way to close for comfort of recent events. At the time he had been just too pissed to see that the boy was backed to the cliffs edge, and all it took was a shouting match to throw him over. _After everything he's suffered_...

"Her Mom Died While She Was Licking The Blood Off Her Face! She Cried In My Arms Over It, Like A Human! Please, I Just Don't Want Anything To Happen To Her!"

Those words got him, they really did. _Great, it's personal,_ Roy thought grimly to himself. _And he's already attached_... He'd been trying his hardest to keep things easy for the boy since his latest trauma and the last thing the kid needed was more heartbreak. He needed help, needed to be with people who cared about him and were willing to show him that he mattered. After all those years of thinking that he knew what Edward was like inside, to have been so abruptly shown how wrong he was had shook him to the core. Him far worse than anyone else because he had actually been _there_. Roy had seen the trauma of it all first hand, not just the aftermath at the hospital. He blamed himself for the whole incident. Edward was both an orphaned kid and his subordinate and in the Flame's eyes that made Fullmetal 'his' responsibility.

"Roy, I'm not a kid getting attached to some cute, dumb puppy. I am telling you right now that she is not some unstable abomination. I have already seen more than enough to convince me that those animals were sentient. And damn smart at that."

All those years of thinking Edward hated him. If Roy suspected otherwise, even for a moment, he would have offered the brothers a home long ago. He even had the fuehrer's blessings to adopt them. Not wanting to see that fear another second he looked down and away, but it only gave him a better view is something just as tragic, the cuff on Ed's wrist. So he closed his eyes.

"I know that she's a potentially dangerous unknown, but I won't have her caged and experimented on. If we can't take her in then we need to find someone who can. Someone we can trust. They'll have to know what she is. Hawkeye has a dog, the Hughes's have Elicia and Breda would probably piss himself if we suggested it so they're out of the picture. The only ones I can think of are Havoc, Fury, Fallman or Armstrong."

Roy still felt angry and he couldn't explain it. Something just felt wrong. Sometimes he could think with a somewhat reasonable amount of clarity, other times he spent minutes at a time just fitting words with the proper definition and then trying to hold onto the words he'd already gone over long enough to say something understandable. All the while fighting to retain everything Edward was telling him. Trying to do so much was causing him to miss entire statements. He was having an easy time registering their conversation for the moment, but it was something that Roy knew could go downhill at any second. _At least I'm aware there's a problem,_ he reasoned.

His attention was reverted back to the boy when a shutter ran through Edward. He wasn't looking up at Roy anymore, he was facing the opposite wall with his eyes and face downcast and his expression had turned to that of exhaustion and pain. His skin had paled visible in those few seconds and he seemed to have gone cold out of nowhere. Tiredly Roy pulled his left glove off with his teeth and let it drop, pressing his shaky hand to Edward's forehead. Forget cold, he was outright hypothermic. He was breathing heavier and suddenly clung to Roy shivering.

"_Ed?_"

There was no response. Then it occurred to him that Edward had nothing between his bare back and the cold stone wall. Being smaller meant less body heat to spare and the automail wasn't helping any. So he decided to switch places and started pulling away and off his shoulder.

The resulting deep-throated shriek left Roy wondering if there would be another cave-in as Nina jumped and scrambled out of the blanket almost faster than he could blink. Edward was shaking hard, wide eyed and clenching his teeth so tight that he worried the boy might brake something. His jaw was buckling under the strain.

"_please..._" He shut his eyes and lowered his head a bit, barely able to do more than whimper simple words through his teeth. "_my shoulder... don't move..._" His voice ended in a strained pitch and the tears came faster than he could stop them, but with his shoulder feeling like someone was stuffing the punctures with white-hot embers he couldn't care less. It was like someone was reattaching automail over and over again. Now that Roy had lifted off it the blood was rushing back into the once numb limb, the pain worsening by the second with no hope of relief.

Roy understood in an instant and did as he was begged. The scream had shook his nerves a bit, but the feel of something wet sliding down his arm and side where Ed's shoulder was put him in a mild panic. Edward had been bitten. He'd been thrashed about by his shoulder like a rag doll. All that struggling would have loosened his flesh from the bone and poured into him whatever salivated toxins or venoms the beast had. Then again, it could have just had an infectiously dirty mouth like certain oversized, man-eating lizards. It would explain why a dog-like chimera would have a thick, reptilian shaped tail. If that was the case, being shook about for as long as he had been would have flooded his system with infection. And he could only guess at the combination of animals and chemicals that when into the their creation.

Roy didn't think he had the coordination to check the pulse in Ed's neck without hitting him and he didn't want to even touch his real arm; so, being careful to not shift his weight, he reached past the wound and pressed his hand gently over the center of Edward's chest. The boy's heart was hammering so hard he almost thought he could see the skin moving. Next came the eyes.

"Edward, look my way." There was no response as he kept his eyes shut tight and his head pressed back to the wall. Roy cautiously lifted his hand from Edward's chest to the opposite side of his face and pulled just enough to turn his head. "Ed, please. Open your eyes and look at me, I need to see them." Slowly he did as he was asked and just as Roy suspected they were dilated.

"I need to move."

"_Please, no..._" Edward begged.

"I'm just pulling away to look at your shoulder, I'm not going to touch it."

Roy leaned away and Edward hissed from the lack of pressure, but when he tried to brace an arm against the wall to keep from falling back it gave way and he nearly hit Ed right in the wound. It surprised him just how off balance he was as he tried to pull away enough to straiten out his legs without leaning back into him, shoving the blanket away as he did. The muscles wouldn't cooperate and his legs weren't any better. If anything they were worse. He'd never felt so physically pathetic and helpless before, like a sick kitten. Pressing down on the ground his lifted himself barely enough to get his lower body over Ed's automail leg. In as controlled a manner as possible Roy let himself just topple over and away. He lay there breathing for just a moment; then dragged himself over beside Edward. Shaking from the effort he pushed himself back up so he was sitting against the wall and was forced to spend over a minute just catching his breath. At least now he could inspect the injury.

Now knowing exactly what the wet stuff he'd felt sliding down his skin was he wanted to vomit. The wound was an ugly, livid color and he wished to hell and back that he had something to clean it with. It was one nasty piece of work. The infection was bad enough and had it been away from his body, like a hand or a foot, it probably would have been amputated, but it was close to his heart and spreading. He'd never before seen a living person rot. For a moment he thought of using his gloves, but fire wouldn't be enough to sterilize such a deep and extensive infection and it bothered him that he had even considered it in the first place. For him it was common sense. And it wasn't even an option with the gloves as damp as they were. Why was he thinking so slowly?

Edward was scared enough as it was and Roy wanted nothing to do with anything that would make matters worse. "From here I'd say this probably feels worse than it looks. Try to calm your heart and take slow breaths. Like you said, we aren't going anywhere. Don't force yourself to stay awake. Sleep if you can."

Ed cracked a vague grin at that. "_No prob there... I'm ready to pass out..._" Not three breaths later he slumped back and let his head hang.

Breathing a sigh of relief Roy pulled the boy away from the wall and wrapped his arms around him under the arms from behind, then pulled him up onto his lap. He slid his right leg out from under him and stretched it out against the wall. Edward was lain back in the man's arms while Roy's other leg shifted and slid up so Roy was resting sideways into the wall and Edward was using him like a lounge chair. It took some doing, but he managed to pull the blanket around his shoulders and the excess was wrapped around Ed; there was more than enough to cover them both. He didn't leave the youth's automail out to freeze and sap away his energy and with their combined heat the metal started warming up. Using the blanket that way left Roy's boots exposed, but they were shirtless and it was the most efficient way to trap in as much heat as possible.

He had wanted to adopt the brothers for years. Now one was gone and the other was left half crazed in mourning, depressed nearly to the point of clinical insanity. Frankly he had no clue as to just what it was that kept the kid going. He'd lost so much that just to breathe must be agony. Roy knew even now that if left alone to dwell on the pain long enough Edward would try it again. To him it was a stone cold fact. And just the thought of him succeeding was more than he could bare. It was enough to force tears out of him on several occasions, usually over a bottle of vodka.

Often he was reminded of Ishbal, the feel of his pistol pressed up under his chin. The utter _finality_ of it all. Roy knew the feeling all too well. If Dr. Marco hadn't stopped him he would have pulled that trigger. There had been an emptiness; an utter lack of thought wherein all he could feel was the pain. Nothing to stop himself. All Roy wanted was for the pain to go away and all he had to do was pull that little trigger, how could that be bad? It took the voice of another to snap him out of it.

"_Hang in there, son_," he whispered his words softly into the boy's hair as the tears fell. Hoping, _praying_ they were heard. "_Just hang in there_."

A faint, strained whistle drew his attention to the opposite wall and his eyes settled on a shaking, piebald powder puff. Her eyes shown watery in the light and she stepped closer crouching low to the ground like she'd been beaten into submission before. Something about it pulled at the heart strings as he wondered if she had been abused. _Probably... _The fur under her eyes glistened with shed tears. _Sentient huh? _She seemed harmless enough, so scared and helpless. He sighed in defeat and muttered,"_I must be out of my mind._" Lightly he patted the blanket and she walked up a bit faster, shoving her nose under the blanket and nestling against his leg. Careful to not shift his weight he stretched out his arm and pressed a gentle hand over the bump in the blanket. The unexpected touch caused it to jump, but he left his hand there a moment longer before stroking it. Soon soft, kitten-like purring could be heard through the warm spot in the blanket and he allowed himself a small grin.

Human or not he'd managed to comfort 'one' lost soul.

* * *

In the words of Dr. Frankenstein, **"IT'S ALIVE!!!"**

Yes, I live still.

Sorry this took so long. Most of the stuff with a more poetic flow was written _long ago_. Many segments would have been in more detail and sounded less like a monotonous list of step-by-step instructions if I wasn't so damn impatient! I just said the hell with it and even cut some stuff so I could post it faster!

Sorta wondering just how many of you thought I had given up on this fic or died. If I never post again assume that I am either dead or in a coma and please joke about all the funny ways my life may have ended; at least 'someone' will get a laugh out of it.


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